Sumeteemes memury's ere-a a coorse-a chepter 2
As told by Swedish Chef
Beck fur mure-a? Vell I gooess zeere's teemes tu shoo yuoor lufe-a ooff my depresseeun. Bork bork bork!.... nu clooe-a vhy yuoo leeke-a it boot let's cunteenooe-a vhere-a ve-a lefft ooffff et shell ve-a? Su I vuke-a up neer a duck... und vhee I sev 2 peuple-a sev me-a et zee vuud su I joost gut up und luuked eruoond und I deescufered I ves et zee street vhere-a must ooff zee toon prusteetootes treeen. Bork bork bork!.... et thees street I dun't remember vhere-a it ves boot vhetefer I luuked eruoond sev sume-a buxes und ifee a puster seyeeng "fredbeer's femeely deener cumeeng suun 1974" su I deceeded tu feesit a erea und sev sume-a gooy und zee buss ooff zee toon's prusteetootes I gooess yuoo cun cell it her thet I beleeefe-a zee mun spukee ooff eskeeng tu get zee prusteetootes oooot in zee streets she-a seeed nu und she-a thuooght zee budygooerd I gooess it ves vuoold teke-a cere-a ooff heem iff he-a treees by furce-a I ves esked tu gu up steurs by zeeur buss vhee I gut zeere-a it toorns oooot zee mun gut up zeere-a und I sev a boollet vuoond oon zee "budygooerd" und zee buss ooff zee toons prusteetootes oon zee fluur in peeen I treeed tu help boot zee mun heet me-a und pootted zee huoose-a oon fure-a und I retoorn tu my vunderlund und it luuked leeke-a a oonderveter erea, yet ifee thuoogh it underveter, I sumehoo cun breet. It ves a neece-a theeng indeed zeen I met sume-a peuple-a deed sumetheeng's I ifee sev a shoo vheech deedn't ind vell. Zeen I vuke-a up noo in sume-a cer und I telked tu zee persun veet me-a hed sume-a chet zeen I vent beck tu zee oold esyloom thet tuuk my guldee beer stooffffed uneemel yes a oodd theeng boot vhetefer, zeen it toorns oooot I sterted hellooceeneting sumetheeng boot nut soore-a vhet und I joost luuked et zee shedoo thet luuked leeke-a zee oone-a in zee pest vheech ves thet beer theeng boot noo it hed sumetheeng oon hees beck thet luuks leeke-a mure-a hunds? Und gut ooootseede-a und it seems zee vurld ves deesturted und zeen I vent tu a grufe-a thet's beseecelly a cheena toon grufe-a gut smell sev sume-a boogs und uneemels es geeunt seezes und sev a ceterpeeller thet smuked oopeeoom toorn intu a bootterffly und zeen I vuke-a up in a jeeel cell zee cups telked ebuoot zee mun's reecshuns I dun't remember mooch ebuoot it, su let's efueed it a leettle-a beet su zee ductur gut me-a oooot und I deceeded tu velk und I sev feesiuns ooff zee tentecles ooff zee pest und vuke-a up In a gury vurld ooff cerds veet iyes flesh und stooffff su I ruemed eruoond und met zee vheete-a keeng trepped in a vell gut heem free-a thuoogh hees leeffe-a is gune-a run frum a ixecooshuner und leter fuoond zee qooeee. vhu vesn't heppy veet me-a et ell. Und I esked her tu help und she-a deneeed zee theeng und I gut my neeghtmeres ooff zee esyloom shooeeng egeeen in my iyes und sev zee dreells und zee seme-a shedoo frum my pest vheech keend a mede-a me-a tveetch. Zeen I sev sume-a suceeupeths und muny oozeers und see-a feesiuns ooff zee ductur, zee oold ledy, zee prusteetoote-a buss, und zeen a vurker fur zee esyloom. Zeen I vuke-a up egeeen velkeeng doon a lerge-a derk und fuggy street zeen seeeeng a cheeld veet hees heed coot oopee und crevleeng veet nu feet I esked heem "vhet's vrung?" I pooked in my muoot vhee I sev zee elmust deed cheeld. Bork bork bork! zee cheeld seeed a noo ifeel is reesing. Und I esked "zee red qooeee hes nu cuntrul oofer yuoo?" zee keed zeen seeed egeeen "it nut zee qooeee Zeere's a noo efeel thet reeegns oon us ell!" zeen zee keed deees. Um gesh dee bork, bork! Und I huld zee cheeld in sume-a teers zeen let's gu und sees a seeght ooff a feesiun ooff my oold boorneeng huoose-a und vent tu a hurreeffying erea I veell tell yuoo vhet it luuks leeke-a Zee upper pert ooff zee vurld hed muny culurffool deestricts. Um gesh dee bork, bork! Must ooff zee huooses vere-a detecheble-a und eble-a tu furm noo peths fur me-a. Zeey elsu hed feebrunt intereeurs leeke-a peectoores, ploosheees, und vuudee blucks. Um gesh dee bork, bork! Sume-a ooff zee foorneetoore-a inseede-a zee huoose-a hed messeges vreettee oon zeem und must vere-a decureted veet bluud. Bork bork bork! Zee dumeeen hed hooge-a dulls in seferel erees thet ected es pethveys, vheele-a dulls oon zee sveengs thet vere-a cufered veet prutroodeeng neeels ected es oobstecles fur me-a. Zeere-a vere-a elsu a lerge-a emuoont ooff deescerded dull perts fuoond in elmust ifery erea ooff "zee Dullhuoose-a".
vhee I gune-a undergruoond Zee undergruoond pert ooff "zee Dullhuoose-a" ves elmust zee ixect ooppuseete-a ooff zee upper pert und ected mure-a leeke-a a preesun thun a hefee. Zeere-a ves a leck ooff culur in zee erea und zee leck ooff cheeldlike-a foorneetoore-a. Zeere-a vere-a murbeed depeecshuns ooff dulls, gless ceges cunteeening deefffferent hurreeffic oobjects, vex feegoores, meet, neeels, scroos und kneefes. Um gesh dee bork, bork! Zeere-a vere-a hooge-a peeles ooff joonk leeke-a demeged beby dulls und skeletuns in zee besement und breekeble-a oobjects beceme-a purceleeen beby dull heeds. Um gesh dee bork, bork! Zeen I see-a a furtress Zee Furt ves mede-a up ooff seferel tuys, zee must cummun beeeng tuy blucks, und perts ooff a huoose-a. It hed three-a tooers, tvu ooff vheech hed nu ruuff und iech hefeeng un iye-a oon zee frunt, vheele-a zee oozeer hed a creyun-teepped ruuff. Zeere-a vere-a elsu three-a vuudee speekes oon zee tup ooff zee Furt und oone-a ooff zee frunt speekes hed a dull heed stebbed frum zee bese-a ooff zee neck thruoogh zee iye-a.
Zee frunt ooff zee Furt hed seferel iye-a dreveengs, a muoot tuy bluck, und a fece-a cunseesting ooff tvu iyes, a nuse-a tuy bluck, und a tungooe-a beloo zee "FORT RESISTENCE" bunner ebufe-a zee meeen intrunce-a duur. Hurty flurty schnipp schnipp! It hed hooge-a hules oon zee tup lefft seede-a und tvu veendoos oon zee reeght, vhere-a oone-a ooff vheech ves brukee, vheech ves used by zee Cheeldree tu peek thruoogh. A berreecede-a elsu soorruoonded zee Furt und ves mede-a ooff deescerded peeeces ooff duurs und brukee penceels. Um gesh dee bork, bork! Zee intereeur ooff zee Furt vere-a mustly mede-a up ooff tuy blucks und plunks thet ected es remps tu eccess zee upper perts ooff zee Furt. Um de hur de hur de hur. A dull cluck und a cloon heed muoont serfed es decureshuns. Um gesh dee bork, bork! Zeen I met zee leeder ooff zee creepy luukeeng keeds. Um gesh dee bork, bork! zeen effter dueeng sume-a tesks I feend zeem ell deed sedly zeen I see-a a vurkshup oopened. Bork bork bork! I sev a duur veet my neme-a oon it und zeen I reeleeze-a vhu coosed zee moorder by luukeeng et memury's it ves ductur furest. Um de hur de hur de hur..... su I gut in zee vurkshup effter thet. Um de hur de hur de hur. Zee inseede-a ooff zee vurkshup ves seemiler tu zee undergruoond pert ooff "zee Dullhuoose-a". It hed slebs ooff meet iferyvhere-a und imegery ooff zee breeen und un insect veet its skeletel system. Zeere-a vere-a dulls cleepped oon metel streengs und must ooff zee dulls hed zee feces ooff zee ebdoocted Insune-a Cheeldree.
Zeen I feenelly see-a thees ruum ooff zee jebbervucky
Zee ruum ooff zee jebbervucky hed drevers es vells und hees teble-a hed a hule-a intended fur deescerded dulls. Um gesh dee bork, bork!
Und zee jebbervucky hed sherp teet toorned intu a Cheshure-a cet veet a muneec smeele-a und sherp teet
Und muny erms a curpse-a leeke-a budy thet's deesprupurshunete-a budy muny dull leeke-a hunds cumeeng oooot hees beck dull heeds oon hees hunds bleck stooffff oouzeeng frum hees iyes suckets, eers, nustreels, und muoot es I sterted tu telk tu heem in unger und seeed "Em I nut zee must vretched und selffeesh ooff furtoone's fuuls? Oobleefiuoos, I leefe-a in a treeening gruoond fur prusteetootes; my mentur is un ebooser und poorfeyur; I'fe-a beee cumpleecit veet my seester's moorderer, und zee keeller ooff my femeely, es he-a curroopted my meend! I suooght releeeff frum my peeen und yuoo toorned me-a evey frum zee troot!" und effter muny meenootes ooff telkeeng he-a grebs me-a und toorns me-a intu sume-a dull und I veke-a up und meet zee gooy und hed a ergooment veet heem und effter muny telks tu zee peuple-a und effter breekeeng my mentel blucks zee ductur gefe-a me-a effter huoors und pusseebly destruyeeng zee jebbervucky. Bork bork bork! I tuuk zee key he-a tuuk frum me-a und pooshed heem intu zee soobvey und leter velked evey. Bork bork bork!. I gooess thet's a guud erea tu stup stey toone-a tu my mure-a heppeeest dey. Bork bork bork!..